Bad Girl goes to Belem, Brasil

So Chile was nice. hot and sunny. latino, but not too latino. Great wine, good food, friends and all that. I used to live there so it was easy and tranquilo.

Now, things are about to change.....

I´m headed to Belem, Brazil, which is [quote from Lonely Planet]`a wild west like zone, infamous for human and ecological problems and for highway robberies and murdered land-rights campaigners.´ it is also where on of new zealand´s greatest sportsmen, Peter Blake, was killed by pirates. Fuck. I am going by myself too. and I don´t speak portuguese. And I am arriving at midnight.

So the night before I start to freak out big time. I am sleeping in this tiny maid´s room at my friend´s appartment in Santiago. I don´t go to sleep at all, the whole night, I am way to keyed up (plus I ate about a kilo of melted cheese cause I ordered a goat cheese salad, and that is what they gave me!).

Catching the plane from Santiago, I find out that my cheap ticket to get me up to the north of Brazil is actually four separate flights, stopping in Buenos Aires, Sao Paulo, Rio de Janiero, before finally arriving in Belem 14 hours later.

About an hour before I land, (I have now been awake for 36 hours) I start to freak out big time. I look around me. The plane is half empty? Why? And the rest of the poeple on the plane are very very shifty looking middle aged men with greasy combovers. where am I going? I barely know anything about this town, at the end of the Amazon river. I just picked it on a map! Is it just me or is everyone staring at me? Their eyes seem to say ´is that girl alone? she must be crazy´.

I switch my ipod on and blast some Peaches on max volume. ´Shake yer Dix´ momentarily puts the images of rape, robbery and violent death on the murky banks of the amazon out of my mind.

Quaking with fear but rushing with adrenaline, I grab my bags and try to avoid the greasy comb-over´s eyes. I step outside. A battered taxi pulls up and I jump in. He grunts at me and then hits the metal. 110 kms an hour he speeds dodgem like down the desserted highway. Are the windows blacked out to hide his crimes inside the car? Where is he taking me?

Finally we reach the hotel. Phew, I am still alive. I walk into the sweaty hotel. A smell of hair and cigarette smoke hangs in the air. There are no other backpackers. My room has walls that are not attached to the ceiling, so any freak could climb over and jump on me. Maybe the hotelier has plans to sell my kidneys to the mafia. I lie on the grimy bed, barraded in. my breathing is shallow. What the fuck am I doing here?

Suddenly I hear laughs and lots of chatter in accented spanish and english. A bunch of guys have just come in from the bar... they are drunk and laughing... the faint smell of weed wafts into my room. Finally calm I drift off to sleep.

Morning finally comes and it sounds like my bed is in the middle of a carnival. music, shouting, singing laughing, traffic... the sun is streaming in. My room is about 30 degrees.

Soon outside, I am surrounded by hords of dark people, dressed in bright, tight lycra... Buildings are brightly painted, and in the Portuguese style.. dogs and cats wander the streets. Music blasts from every direction, cars go past shouting advertisements from huge speakers, everyone seems to be laughing, joking, wild.

It´s going to be okay.

Later, I meet a friendly young policeman, who offers to show me around the town when he finishes work. Happily I wonder around the gorgeous colonial town with him, feeling safe with his gun hanging at his hip and his uniform to protect me. He escorts me back to my hotel like a gentleman.

Later, back at the hotel, I meet the other travelers... they share their caiparinha and we chat in french, spanish and english... They are a bunch of hippies and they met on a boat on the amazon. They are all guys, so I a feel extra safe, like the little sister they all have to look after.

We head down to the market for a strange meal consisting of a soup that has leaves that make your entire mouth go numb.... the strangest feeling ever. The market is pretty edgy. If these ladies aren´t prostitutes, then those are some damn skanky outfits they got! One lady of about 55 is wearing a skirt about 5 inches long with a white piece of material that ties across her front, leaving her back exposed! not a nice sight when she has a pot belly and triangular legs!

The next day I get up at five to go on a boat on the amazon. We stop at dawn at an island filled with thousands of parrots that wake up with the sun and fly alll around the island. We see families living in little huts on the border of the amazon.

My two new friends nicolas from Belgium and a crazy Turkish guy are now headed on the night bus to Sao Luis. I sleep like a baby, and the next morning we awake in a tropical bright town, with the most gorgeous old bright buildings and a more relaxed feel.

That night we head out for drinks and find ourselves at a Reggae bar. Sao Luis is the town that invented Reggae! Drinks are so cheap they are nearly free. Later we stumble across a street party where locals are drumming and dancing and drinking. It feels like Carnival in London but more raw! We end up dancing with a beautiful old woman of about 75, plus a whole group of young boys who get me to sing the English lyrics to Bob Marley that they don~t know. It is amazing, everyone so friendly and open and happy.... dancing in the street....

And then today... slightly hungover, I head with the Belgiun guy on a local bus to the beach. WE sunbathe in the tropical rain and the sea was like lovely velvety soup.

I am in full lazy relaxed traveller mode now... although still a bit freaked about muggings and pickpockets... I´ll get over that eventually!

Bad Girl on Tour

Part one: Travelling with mum...sober!
After months of boozing in london I was ready for a detox, this worked out pretty well, since she had me up at SPARROW'S FART every morning, hiking through indigenous villages, tearing through markets and back in bed by 9pm most nights.

Sapa is this crazy mountain town in north vietnam, where drastically poor hill tribes still wear their ancient costume and live in straw hut villages. We hiked around a bit, and the ladies from these tribes are something else. They follow you for the whole day, up and down hills, wearing their traditional outfits, chatting away, and at the end of the hike, they offer to sell you these random bits and pieces you don't want. But of course you buy them cause by now you are bestest mates with them from spending the whole day hanging out. Now that is a sales technique. Made me really sad though, that they are so poor they have to do that.

Laos is a country I had barely heard of until recently, but man, what an awesome place. The people were softly spoken, smiling, chilled and friendly. Always happy to help and so warm and genuine. The weather was warm and balmy every day. The whole place is full of peaceful temples, with gorgeous monks wandering around in orange robes. The food was fragrant, herbal, light and refresshing. The dogs didnt bite, and it was cheap as chips. This one town we hung out in for days had amazing french food too.

In another town you float down the river on tubes and there are pubs all along the river with massive huge swings and flying foxes. The bar-staff pull you in with bamboo sticks and you hop into their treehouses to drink beer and whisky while bob marley music floats up the valley. When you are done you float on down the river...

Cambodia was intense. Hot, poor, colourful, with more of an edge than Loas, and a pretty tragic history. Those Kymer Rouge were an evil bunch of fuckheads, I am telling you. Google it.

Anyway, was so hot there, me and mum had to sneak into this fancy-but-grotesque hotel and pretend like we belonged there so we could use their pool, we were that hot. Our backpackers was pretty full on. Weddings every night across the road, with the feast being prepared by dozens of semi nude men right there in the middle of the road.

Gros man, fish guts and sweat and rotton cabbage mingled with pollution and wedding food. mmmmm. Ideal location for my wedding I reckon.

Part two: Travelling with the over-50s club through rural Vietnam

Back in Saigon, I was stoked to be back by the pool, with a maid to cook me dinner and iron my undies... Anyway, I must have been suffering a bit of sunstroke or something... or maybe I ate a magic mushroom milkshake by mistake... cause somehow I got roped into a roadtrip with my dad, mum, and a group of their highschool friends from the 1960s. Me plus six 54-year olds. In a four-wheel drive. For a WEEK! What the hell was I thinking?

Fun parts included the huge private golfing estate in the mountains that my dad wangled off his golfing buddy. We had these huge chalets, a private cinema, a private lake and gorgeous views. We hired motorbikes one day and cruised the roads visiting a silk-worm factory, coffee planatations and musroom farms. I also slipped into a massive deep hole filled with red mud. that was fun... Then we went to the beach, where my room overlooked the crashing waves, and perfect palm tree beach and where dad's mate let us use his penthouse to cook dinner every night.

Not so fun was the fact that one of the guys was a builder and kept a CONSTANT stream of consciousness about the building materials and farming techniques for the WHOLE trip. And the architect couple added their two bobs worth too, I'm telling you I was about to jump out the window. Music could have been a welcome reprieve. The car's CD collection included: The Warratahs, a socialist choir group and Destiny's Child.

And then I got a stomach bug, and spewing my guts out on New Year's Eve. At least this is where I got to do it:

Lost in Saigon...

Anyway, now back in Saigon now for a week.... planning to make the most of the tailors, the day spa, the pool and the shopping. Saigon is a super fun city, and luckily some family friends in their mid-twenties are staying at the moment, so we can not talk about the physics of vietnamese housing! And the sun is shining, the mangos are ripe and baby, my tan is coming along better than a cake in the oven!


loving it all... missing you all.



xxxx